August 26, 2011

Today was a very hard emotional day for me. I have been spending a lot of time thinking of my Grandpa and wondering what his words of wisdom would of been for me. Most times it's stories that I've heard all my life, and wouldn't miss the chance to hear them again. Now of course, I'll just have to remember them on my own. 

Yesterday I was playing games on Facebook thinking that the games I usually play are getting kinda boring to me. Some of them I've played for several years now. Sure I have all the buildings and almost all the collections completed and waiting to turn in, but as I play these games every day, my mind has been drifting off to other places. Like what and for whom is a certain Christmas present going to be given. At one point I even got off the computer and was thinking that I'd like to take a nap. So as I put my computer away, my phone rang and it was my mom saying that it was time. You see, at one point my papa asked me if I wanted some of Grandpa's things from his house. I said yes of course, but only if he wanted me to have them and when. There is enough fighting and snide comments being made from my relatives that I didn't want to have any pressure on my papa nor my mom to feel like I was making demands. So anyway, mom called and said it was time. So we went over to my mom and papa's, and then up to Grandpa's house. 

Grandpa's house is little but as a small kid, I always thought it was so big. Once inside we started collecting things that would come to my house. I felt like I was going to get into trouble from Grandpa, you know....."What the Sam Well's going on?" and more. I asked my papa if he felt the same way being in there when Grandpa wasn't. Papa said, " yeah, its kinda weird..."  For the first time in my life I felt really strange in Grandpa's house. I can't really describe it, but as we were taking things from Grandpa's house to have come move into mine, I kinda felt like I was "Poking my nose into things that I aunt not have..." I guess I was just waiting for the reprimand that didn't come. 

After loading up what was now going to come to my house to "live," we brought it all home. We set everything out in the yard for cleaning and sorting. My neighbor came home and said, well, now my yard looks just like theirs..... BAHHHH!!!! We were just about done with the cleaning and sorting out when I sat down on one of Grandpa's kitchen chairs and just started to cry and bawl. I couldn't help it and had even a harder time stopping. I guess I felt like a thief in the night with Grandpa's things around me. I just knew that if he was to come home to his house and see his stuff missing and knew I had it, I'd get that willow switch yet. All I could do was cry. I told Grandpa that I was feeling just awful and excited that I was given his things. Awful cause they weren't in his house where they should be and excited because I needed them for my family.  I think Grandpa would like the idea that his things would be cared for and used. Now I just wonder how my papa will feel when he comes to my house and sees Grandpa's things here. 

Till later.........

August 18, 2011

Well some really sad news to tell... On August 16th, 2011 I lost my grandfather. He was 91 years old and very important to me.

Grandpa Don Denton

Grandpa was one of the most important teachers I've ever had. He taught me to be patient, to love, to understand, and not to rush into things. "Sometimes things just work themselves out whether you want them to or not. Don't fight it. Don't rush into anything. Its better to take things slow and right the first time instead of rushing and having to do it all again...."
I've tried to take his teachings and use them in everyday life. I learned that having patience and understanding are the best tools a person can have. When I was younger, I wanted to rush through mowing a yard at home. Grandpa came up to me and told me to just stick to the sides of the mowed grass and not worry about the ends. I tried to go against that, and in the end he was right. My mowing of the yard was all over the place and I ended up having to re-mow the parts I missed.
Grandpa had a way with him that sometimes left me angry. But in the end, if I'd done things his way, it would have all worked out. I guess I wasn't ready to be an adult yet.

Grandpa was always kind to me. Even when I would spend time with him and be angry from something that happened earlier in the day, by the time grandpa had me tell him what was on my mind, grandpa would say, "Now that your not full of hot air anymore, what do you think you need to do to fix it?" After I would come up with ways I thought would fix things, grandpa would say in his quiet way, "Will that do? What other things can you think of that would be better?"

I'm really going to miss him and his words of wisdom. Sometimes his words of wisdom had nothing to do with what we were talking about, but by the end of our chat, things always worked their way out, even in ways that I didn't expect.

Thank you grandpa. Thank you for you as you. Thank you for your wisdom and laughs. I'll miss you terribly.
I love you grandpa. Say hi to grandma for me...